Cannibal
by PARAMOREROCKS and Hoodie
Summary: After Annabeth and Thalia win a contest to meet Kesha, what happens when Percy has a vivid nightmare about the popstar? And what happens when it really happens? Is Kesha who everyone thinks she is? btw for Kesha fans, I'm not making fun of her, I'm actually a huge fan :D this was a dream i had... On Hiatus. -P
1. I Won A Contest!

**CANNIBAL**

**Chapter 1: I Won A Contest!**

**Percy's POV**

I walked into the Athena cabin to get Annabeth to came to lunch.

"Lunch is happening right now, Annabeth!" I said. She didn't listen. She had her headphones in her ears, listening to music so loud I could hear it. I walked over to her and took a headphone out of one of her ears.

"Hey!" she said.

"LUNCH TIME!" I screamed, "… honey bear…"

"Sorry, I was listening to music," she replied.

"I could see." More like _hear… _

"Sorry, she's my favorite singer."

"Who?"

"Ke$ha," she replied.

"Who?" I had never heard that name before.

"You don't know who Ke$ha is?" she said, shocked.

"Uh… no?"

"YOU CRAZY MOTHER-" she started.

"Watch the language!" I interrupted.

"She's the one that sings 'Tik Tok!'" she assured.

I just raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"You know… '_Don't stop/ Make it pop/ DJ, blow the speakers up/ Tonight/ Imma fight/ Till I see the sunlight/ Tik Tok/ On the clock/ But the party don't stop, no/ Oh whoa oh/ Oh whoa oh."_

"Oh, that song," I said.

"She's so awesome!" said Annabeth.

"The drunk girl with the dollar sign?" I said confused, "_You _like her?"

"I can be cool…" said Annabeth.

"Sure…" I teased.

"Shut up!" she pushed me playfully.

"So, what song are you listening to?"

"Cannibal," she smirked.

"Huh?"

"Listen," she said, as if I'd be interested. Then the song played the lyrics:

"_I have a heart I swear I do/ But just not baby when it comes to you/ I get so hungry when you say you love me/ Hush/ If you know what's good for you/ I think you're hot, I think you're cool/ You're a look kinda guy I'd stalk in school/ But now that I'm famous you're up my anus/ Now I'm gonna eat you fool!/ I eat boys up/ Breakfast and lunch/ Then when I'm thirsty I drink their blood/ Carnivore animal/ I am a cannibal/ I eat boys up/ you better run!/[Chorus: I am cannibal (cannibal) cannibal (I AM)/ I am cannibal (cannibal) I'LL EAT YOU UP! (X 2)]/ Whenever you tell me I'm pretty/ that's when the hunger really hits me/ your little heart goes 'pitter-patter'/ I want your liver on a platter/ Use your finger to stir my tea/ then for dessert I'll suck your teeth/ be too sweet and you'll be a goner/ Yep I'll pull a 'Jeffery Dammar'/ I eat boys up/ Breakfast and lunch/ then when I'm thirsty I'll drink their blood/ Carnivore animal/ I am a cannibal/ I eat boys up/ you better run!/ [Chorus]/ [Oh whoa oh oh/ Oh whoa oh oh oh/ Oh whoa oh oh/ Oh whoa oh oh oh (X 2)]/ [Chorus]/ I love you/ *laughter*/ I warned you…/ Rawr!"_

Annabeth liked this music? Wow, this was so unlike her. Thalia, now, that wouldn't surprise me. Or Rachel even. But _Annabeth? _That didn't make hardly any sense.

"You _like _that?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said.

"Wow…"

"Shut up," she said.

"This chick scares me," I joked, "She's gonna freaking eat me up! I BETTER RUN!"

"Shut up, butthole!" she teased.

"But she'll use my finger to stir her tea and she'll suck my teeth for dessert!" I laughed.

"It sounds quite appetizing," she teased.

"I'll come back from the dead," I laughed, "I'll start the apocalypse!"

"Wow, did you just use a big word?" she asked shocked.

"Shut up," I defended.

She started to giggle. Then Thalia came running in.

"Annabeth…" she tried to catch her breath, "Guess… what…"

"What?" asked Annabeth.

"Ke$ha… is… starting a… contest…" she said.

"Really?" said Annabeth excited.

"Yeah," she said, "The winner gets Ke$ha to come and show you her tour bus, a private Ke$ha concert, an exclusive album of her unreleased songs-"

"What songs?"

"Well, 'While You Were Sleeping', 'Goodbye', 'Bad Dream', 'Chain Reaction', 'Disgusting', 'Let Me Go', 'Hallucination', 'Invisible', and more!" Thalia explained.

"Oh my gods!" said Annabeth.

"Come on!" they ran out of the cabin. I guess they didn't want to eat lunch…

~0~

I walked into the Big House after the girls. Thalia turned on the TV to a commercial. It was of Ke$ha, dressed in a white dress that stopped at the middle of her thighs. She had on red lipstick and black eye shadow. Her hair had glitter in it and was braided, causing it to cascade down her left or right –sorry, I'm dyslexic- shoulder.

"What's up, cannibals?" she said in a drunken voice, giggling. "Who likes a good competition, huh? Hehehe, well, I got a good one for ya! Hehe… whoever can tell me the answer to this question FIRST will win. The winner will have a private concert, by ME, a tour of my tour bus, by ME, an exclusive downloaded four albums of sixty-seven of unreleased songs, by ME, and a trip to the mall and a makeover… by ME! Hehehe, me, me, me! HAHAHA! Ok, well, the question is… Which Greek mythical creature did the legend of vampires originate from? Not my question… I had people to come up with it for me! HAHA! Hehehe I'm still frigging drunk! I need to lie down…" Then, Annabeth turned off the TV.

"I know the answer!" she exclaimed.

"We figured you might," I said.

"An _empousa," _she replied.

"I'd know too," I said, "I came face-to-face with one before." I referred back at the time I had just started Goode. One of the _empousa _cheerleaders tried to eat me…

"How do you answer the question?" asked Annabeth.

"What number do you call?" asked Thalia.

"Um, here let me turn the TV back on," she replied. The commercial had already gone off.

"Crap!" said Thalia.

"Wait, I'll look it up on my iPad," said Annabeth. She got the number off a website called "keshaparty " and called in.

"Hello?" said Ke$ha on speakerphone.

"Hi, my name is Annabeth Chase," she said.

"Sorry, but I can't just chat," she replied, "I got a contest to tend to."

"No, I know the answer!" Annabeth laughed as she spoke to her favorite singer.

"OK."

"An _empousa!" _Annabeth exclaimed.

"Wow," said Ke$ha, "You knew it. I guess you win!"

Annabeth gasped and said in a really high-pitched voice, "Really?"

"Yeah, _really!" _said Ke$ha.

"OK hold on a second," she said calmly, taking it off speaker, covering the phone, and the screamed, "AAAHHH! YAAAYY!" and jumped up and down.

Chiron came running in. "What's wrong? Whose hurt?"

"Oh, sorry, nobody's hurt…" said Annabeth.

"But I heard a screaming," said Chiron.

"I won a contest…" said Annabeth.

Chiron crossed his arm and gave her a stern look. "Go eat lunch."

"Yes sir," she said. We walked out with Chiron to the pavilion. I sat at the Poseidon table. I looked over to Annabeth who couldn't stay still in her seat. It was actually quite amusing.

**A/N: Hey, sorry if this chapter is short. Microsoft Office is a lot different than FanFiction. Anyways, thanks for reading! REVIEW! HAHAHA! I'm so drunk XD Not really… seriously I was just kidding. Don't even take that seriously. Haha lol XD**


	2. Kesha Comes To CHB

**A/N: SOOO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! I had writer's block and I had a lot of other story ideas :D But anyway enjoy this and don't hate me for it being so late…**

**Chapter 2: Ke$ha Comes To CHB**

**Percy's POV:**

The next morning I was woken by the sound of Annabeth screaming in my ear.

"Annabeth, this isn't like you. What are you doing?" I asked, sitting up in my bed rubbing my neck.

"KE$HA CAME! AH!" she screamed. Wow she was heck of a Ke$ha fan…

"Hey pretty boy," said a 25 year-old woman with curly blond hair and dark eyes and cheeks covered in freckles. "You finally awake, Sleeping Beauty? Love the messy hair…"

I glared evilly. "I'm guessing you're Ke$ha…" I replied.

"What gave it away?" she asked, sarcastically, "My vixen eyes? My blond hair? My shiny pants? Or just a shot in the dark?"

"He, he, he, very funny…" I replied.

"That's my boyfriend, Percy," said Annabeth, eagerly.

"You made a good pick," she looked impressed. "Hot boy you got here… he just needs a beard…"

"He hasn't made it that far yet…" said Annabeth with a giggle.

"You and Thalia just have a knack for my slow puberty bridge, don't you guys?" I said with an evil glare.

"Ha, I have so many stories to tell you and Thalia," said Ke$ha to Annabeth. "Which do you wanna hear? How I puked in Paris Hilton's closet, how I was born at a party, how I-" **(-Those are real stories about Ke$ha… she has lots of them! She's hilarious!)**

"You puked in Paris Hilton's closet?" I said, shocked.

"Dude, hell yeah I did!" said Ke$ha, "I even wrote a song about it. '_I threw up in Paris Hilton's closet, I got drunk and totally lost it! When I woke up I thought '_Oh my Kesha, those hot Gucci shoes', _hey Paris! Did I lose it on that pair too?'" _

"You wrote a song about it…?" I said, confused.

"I heard that!" said Annabeth. "'_Heeey Paris! I saw the saaaame stuff at Target!' _My favorite part!"

"Also…" I continued, "Your mother gave birth to you at a party?"

"My mom was crazy, kid!" she replied.

"She went to a party _pregnant?" _I replied.

"No, she didn't go to a party, Percy, she threw one, there's a difference," she answered with a laugh. "OK so here we go. She invited her girls over cause I mean, duh, she ain't gonna go to a party pregnant! So, anyway, her water suddenly broke chugging down a whisky bottle –which kind of marked me- and so no-one took her to the hospital, she wanted to party after I was here. So she just let me plop out on the couch and just went back to chugging beer crap."

"Oh my gods I saw you talk about that on 'Lopez Tonight'!" said Thalia, who I didn't even notice was in here. She must've walked in while Ke$ha told her story.

"Thalia!" I yelled. "Does she even know-"

"Don't worry, Perseus," Ke$ha replied, "I know about the gods. I have the ability to see through the Mist."

"Whoa, seriously?" said Thalia, "Oh gods I thought I made a mistake…"

"This is so cool," said Annabeth.

_This is so creepy… _I thought.

"So, who wants some CDs, huh?" asked Ke$ha.

"I do!" Thalia and Annabeth replied together like little children. This was creepy too… Ke$ha handed them large CD cases.

"Whoa, I thought there was only gonna be three discs…" said Annabeth.

"Sorry, I was drunk. There's like ten. I have so many unreleased songs," said Ke$ha.

"I love the song 'Secret Weapon'," replied Thalia, "It has a rock theme."

"I have no interest in what you guys are talking about," I said, "So, could you guys get out of my cabin while I change for lunch?"

"We should go," Thalia smirked, "He's ashamed of his non-manly body."

"You and Annabeth wanna embarrass me in front of a celebrity so bad, don't you guys?"

"It's quite amusing, yes?" Thalia laughed.

"I hate you…"

"I love you though…" said Annabeth.

"Let's go," said Ke$ha, "I have many stories to tell you over lunch."

~0~

"So then," I heard Ke$ha say to Thalia and Annabeth at the Athena table (Chiron allowed it since they won) once I walked in. "He's all like 'What the hell are you doing here?' and I'm just sitting there. MAN, was he mad! He got security to throw me out! It was soooo funny! But I mean, hey, I didn't get arrested!" Annabeth and Thalia laughed at the story. I went over and sat at the Poseidon table. Grover came and sat beside me.

"Is that Ke$ha?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, "Thalia and Annabeth won a contest."

"That's cool I guess…" he replied.

"You think she's hot, don't you?"

"Please don't tell Juniper…" Grover begged.

"… JUNIPER!..." I teased.

"You're cruel…" he pouted.

"Just kidding dude…" I replied, "She has some interesting stories…"

"So do you," said Grover.

"Yeah I do," I replied. I probably had many more stories than her.

"Alright demigods," said Chiron, "Who's ready for a game of capture the flag?"

No-one really replied.

"Well…" said Ke$ha, "I'd love to!"

Suddenly many people stood up begging to participate with Ke$ha.

"Ms. Sebert, dear," said Chiron, "This is no regular Capture the Flag. This is dangerous-"

"I don't care!" she demanded. "I'm stronger than you think!"

"I bet you are, but-"

"Chiron," she got up and walked towards him. She slithered two fingers across his neck, smoothly. "You silly centaur." She let out a supposedly sexy laugh. "I have a feeling only stereotypes come to your mind, eh? Is it that I'm a girl that makes me weak? Is it that I'm beautiful and like to party that makes me stupid as Hades? Is it that I'm not a demigod that makes me a mortal? Is it that my hair hasn't burst into flames yet that makes me normal?" Now her eyes were digging in his face. "I demand respect from you, before I lose my controlled temper!"

"Fine," said Chiron in a… _peasant _voice? "I'll do as you say. You may participate."

My eyes widened. I was shocked at how easily Chiron gave into Ke$ha's "advise".

~0~

Well, shocked as I was, Ke$ha was great at Capture the flag. She caused the red team to win (I was on the blue team). She came across intimidating to many people. She was actually strong and forced her way. She actually seemed to scare the boys more than the girls… including me…

That night I couldn't get any rest. I don't know if it was from being shocked at Ke$ha's stamina or if it was from the headache I had (she punched me in the face to get the flag…. That was so embarrassing…). Or if it was from my hurting chest and pounding stomach ache. Now I was feeling pain everywhere. I felt like puking but was actually disappointed when I couldn't because it'd probably felt better. Bet you wanted to know that, didn't you?

Anyway, away from getting personal, I sat up and thought of how I could fall asleep. I wanted to talk to someone but it was past the curfew and no-one would answer a call at this time. The room was heating up. I was actually wishing Tyson was here. I looked out the window and only saw pitch darkness. Then I clenched my pillow in pain, letting a tear roll my face. Then I saw a figure staring at me through the window. I pretended to be asleep just in case, though I had my eye squinted a little open to see if I could make out their face.

Nope. I couldn't do it. It was too dark. I just wanted to sleep. But something else ran through my mind.

Earlier, Ke$ha called me by my full name, not Percy.

-Flashback-

"_Thalia!" I yelled. "Does she even know-"_

"_Don't worry, __Perseus__," Ke$ha replied, "I know about the gods. I have the ability to see through the Mist."_

-End of Flashback-

Another thing ran through my mind; noticing that only people who knew my true identity called me Perseus. Either a friend… or… an _enemy… _

Finally, I was able to fall asleep. But then soon regretted it after…

**A/N: DUN DUN DUN! Is Ke$ha a friend or enemy? And what is she really? And what is Percy's vivid dream? Stay tuned! Please review! Thanks! :D **


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